Real Talk: The Ups & Downs of Breastfeeding

Real Talk: The Ups & Downs of Breastfeeding

Written by Becca O'Leary - Registered Midwife and the Founder of My Little Kiwi Antenatal

 

 

Breastfeeding is often described as a natural, instinctive act or something that will just happen. But the truth? It can be tough. Breastfeeding challenges are more common than you think - and you're not alone. From sore nipples to cluster feeding and milk supply concerns, many parents face unexpected hurdles in the early days. These issues can feel overwhelming, emotional, and sometimes even leave you questioning yourself. Luckily, there are ways to prepare for breastfeeding and tools to help you through the tough spots.

 

Why Preparing for Breastfeeding Matters

 

One of the best ways to set yourself up for a smoother breastfeeding experience is to learn about it before your baby arrives. Just like labour and birth, breastfeeding is a learned skill for both parent and baby. Joining an antenatal class or breastfeeding education session during pregnancy is a great place to start.

 

The Benefits of Antenatal Hand Expressing

 

Antenatal hand expressing is a powerful tool that’s often overlooked. Practicing this in the final weeks of pregnancy can:

       Help you get to know your breast anatomy

       Build confidence in expressing colostrum

       Decrease the time it takes for your milk to come in after birth

 

Speak to your LMC or midwife about whether antenatal hand expressing is right for you.

 

Mastering the Latch to Prevent Nipple Pain

 

A shallow latch is one of the most common causes of nipple damage and pain. Remember: it’s breast feeding, not nipple feeding. A deep, comfortable latch supports better milk transfer and helps prevent cracks, blisters, or bleeding.

 

To support a good latch:

       Baby should be tummy to tummy with you

       Align nose to nipple before latching

       Baby’s arms should hug the breast

       Gently press baby’s upper back into you to help their head tilt back and mouth open wide

 

Discomfort should ease after the first 10–20 seconds. If pain persists, seek support from a lactation consultant or midwife.

 

What to Expect: Cluster Feeding & Night Two

 

Many parents are surprised by cluster feeding, especially on night two. This is totally normal and is your baby’s way of signalling your body to produce more milk. It can feel relentless, but it’s short-lived.

 

Tips to manage:

       Rest when you can

       Tag team with your support person

       Take care of your nipples - natural nipple balms or Silverette cups are great for healing

       Try nipple shields if absolutely needed (with guidance)

 

Feeding Isn’t Just Boob or Bottle

 

If your baby needs extra feeding support, know that you have options. Supplementing doesn’t have to mean jumping straight to a bottle. You can also use:

       Syringes

       Cups

       Supplemental Nursing Systems (SNS)

 

Your feeding plan should work for you and your baby. Your midwife or lactation consultant can help create a personalised plan that supports your goals and baby's needs.

 

Managing Breast Engorgement & Mastitis

 

Engorgement can happen as your milk comes in and may make latching difficult. Try:

       Gentle lymphatic drainage massage

       Warm compresses before feeding

       Cold packs between feeds

       Letting your milk drip

 

Avoid unnecessary stimulation or pumping, and skip wired or tight-fitting bras.

 

If you notice redness, swelling, or flu-like symptoms, it may be mastitis. New guidelines encourage:

       Rest and hydration

       Cold packs

       Anti-inflammatory meds (e.g. ibuprofen)

       Gentle lymphatic drainage massage

 

Early treatment can often prevent the need for antibiotics. Reach out for support quickly if you’re concerned.

 

Feeling Overwhelmed? Support is Available

 

Please don’t suffer in silence. Breastfeeding can take a toll on your mental and emotional wellbeing. There are many ways to get support, including:

       Talking to your midwife or GP

       Booking a lactation consultant (online or in-person)

       Free and paid breastfeeding support groups

       Helpful resources like the BreastFedNZ app

 

Choose what works for you. It’s okay to tune out the noise and just focus on what feels right for your whānau.

 

Formula Does Not Equal Failure

 

If breastfeeding challenges are affecting your mental health, it's okay to consider supplementing or switching to formula. You haven’t failed. Formula is a safe, nutritious option that supports baby’s growth and gives you peace of mind. Whether you breastfeed, express, mix-feed, or formula feed, you’re making loving, informed decisions. Your mental health matters too. There’s no perfect path - only the one that works for you and your pēpi.

 

 

You’re Doing an Incredible Job!

 

Breastfeeding can be one of the most intimate and beautiful journeys with your baby - but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. It asks a lot of you, physically and emotionally. Whether you breastfeed for one feed or one year, just giving it a go is something to be so proud of. The fact that you’ve shown up, tried, and given your baby your love and nourishment in whatever way you could is something to be deeply proud of. However your feeding journey unfolds, it’s valid, it’s worthy, and it’s yours.

 

 

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